Yesterday I was having an impromptu discussion about love. It started out light and then morphed into something deeper.

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We went from discussing booty calls, to the value of women, not consisting of what’s between her legs. Which of course, I happen to agree with. But I am also aware of some realities. In that, I don’t see marriages lasting. Christian or otherwise.

I believe the cause of this is a number of factors. For one, people come into relationships with their baggage and issues. I mean, let’s face it, we all have issues. And if anyone tells you otherwise, they are lying.

How do these issues come about? The answer is childhood. Whether we choose to admit it or not, whatever we were exposed to as children is what we will mirror in our adult life.

Let’s take me for example. My earliest recollection was handing my parents each a piece of toilet paper. Tears were rolling down each of their faces. I must have been about 5 or 6 years old. I remember the longing of wanting to help them feel better.

Truth be told, all they did was fight, every day, for years. This was my introduction to relationships and marriage.

I remember sitting with my friends in high school. We were eating lunch and they were talking about how they wanted to get married and have children. I was the only one who didn’t want that. All I knew was that marriage equaled misery and unhappiness.

Since then, I’ve been in several romantic relationships and married twice. In retrospect, I think it would have been best for me not to get married at all.

Reason being, if you don’t work on your issues, you will either attract the wrong person or mess up a good one.

I can write a book on my relationships alone. The stuff I went through, would make your head spin. I don’t know how I’m standing today in my semi-right mind. But it must be the grace of God.

Yes, I’ve survived, but there are scars that tell the tale. You know the expression, “If I knew then, what I know now…” Well, I’m living this reality. If only I knew then, what I know now, I would have made different choices.

The damage of some choices are irreparable. As much as you would like for things to be different, or change what is, you can’t.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that based on my past and choices, I’m damaged. I am unable to truly love, and allow someone in. My trust level was destroyed years ago. I care and have compassion, but based on the damage I’ve experienced in my life, I’m incapable of truly loving anyone, except for my kids.

What are your thoughts on love, relationships and marriage? Has the affects of your childhood framed your relationships for good or bad?