Tag Archives: Creativity
Redeeming Lost Time
I was speaking with my therapist last week about choices. I was explaining why certain things didn’t happen in my life and what occurred and why it lead me to where I am today. There was a significant amount of loss.
The topic came up because I was rehashing what happened in my writing group. I had submitted a piece I had worked on for critique. What usually occurs is everyone gets a turn telling you what they liked or disliked or what worked or didn’t work for them. I struggle with getting critiques because I’ve been criticized for most of my life.
My therapist explained my writing isn’t me. Meaning, they are not critiquing me as a person, they are only critiquing my writing. But I responded that my writing is me.
It’s the same thing when I cook. I like to cook and feed people. When I cook, I cook from my heart. It’s an act of giving. My cooking is an expression of who I am. So, if someone doesn’t like my cooking, I take it personally. Just like I do with my writing.
I gave my therapist a time table of every creative endeavor I’ve pursued since I was a teenager. I had the same issue with each of them. First, it was acting, then fashion design, then singing, and then writing. In that sequence.
I get the fact that we need critiques to improve and grow. However, I can’t help it if I struggle to the point of giving up. I’ve repeated the same pattern throughout the course of my life. I’m tired of this cycle and getting nowhere.
Here I am at 53, and in the same position that I was in my 20’s. It’s kind of sad actually. The Lord gave me creative abilities for a reason and I’ve allowed fear and people’s words to stop me.
My therapist is astute and asked me one simple question. “Are you trying to play catch up and make up for lost time?” I sat there and thought about it, and realized the answer is yes. Now I understand where all this pressure is coming from. I’ve made so many mistakes in the past that now I’m afraid to fail.
I have to remind myself that I wasn’t meant to be perfect in the first place. I can and will make mistakes in my life and writing. I can give myself permission to write crappy, make mistakes, and even fail. Failing isn’t the worst thing that can happen to me or you because that’s when we learn the most and can become better.
This quote by Anne Rice resonated with me this week, “To write something you have to risk making a fool of yourself.” So true.
We have to risk making a fool of ourselves. We are ever evolving as people and as writers. There is always something new to learn. We won’t stop learning and growing until we die. That’s if we allow ourselves and don’t give up.
I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of fear and people kicking me in the butt. The past is the past. This is the present. I don’t have to play catch up and try to redeem lost time. I can start from where I’m at and give myself permission to learn, grow, make mistakes and even fail. I hope you will do the same.
Posted in anxiety, blogging, writing
Also tagged Acting, Afraid, Aging, Anne Rice, Blogging, catch up, Cooking, Critique, Critiquing, failing, Failure, fashion design, Fear, gifts, God, Growing, Identity, Jesus, Learning, Lost time, Mistakes, past, People, present, pursuing dreams, redeeming, redeeming lost time, Singing, therapist, Therapy, Writing
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Be Original
This generation seems focused on being someone other than themselves. I don’t know if it’s movies, music, social media or all of the above. But people want to be someone they aren’t, instead of being original.
Courtesy of Creative Commons
Yes, I am aware of the fact that there is a risk involved in being “yourself”. But why would anyone want to be a carbon copy of someone else?
God created us in His own image. He knit us in our mother’s womb. He made us an original, not a duplicate. There is no other human being on earth like us. That’s powerful.
But, instead of basking in this truth, we try to emulate others.
I’m not going to lie, I’ve struggled with this in certain respects. In that, I was always different. So I struggled with wanting to fit in and be like everyone else, so I wouldn’t stand out.
However, now that I’m older, I see that God didn’t create me to fit in or be like everyone else. He made me different for a reason. He created me to be exactly the way I am, an original.
Artists don’t look at the world around them in the same way as others, which makes them creative. We have our own slant on things, which makes us unique.
There is beauty in uniqueness, and in not being like others. Originality and creativity are attractive qualities to possess. But it takes courage to allow ourselves to be who we truly are.
Think about it? What would it be like if every butterfly you saw looked exactly the same? Wouldn’t that be boring?
Well, the same goes for humans; variety makes life interesting and diverse.
We need to embrace ourselves, and even accept our imperfections, because even our imperfections are unique and original.
Part of living on earth is discovering who we are, what our divine calling, destiny and purpose is. So as we are in the discovery phase, we should allow ourselves to express our unique flair or signature in whatever we do.
We can’t look at what others are doing better than us or more successfully. We have to focus in on honing our own skills, gifts, talents, and all of which encompasses who we are. The discovery process won’t happen if we are too busy comparing ourselves to others around us.
Everyone has their own lane. Take the time to discover yours and be original.
Do you struggle with being you? Do you find yourself becoming discouraged because you compare yourself to others and how well they are doing in comparison to you?
Posted in blogging
Also tagged Accepting ourselves, Artistic, Be Original, calling, Embracing Who We Are, God, purpose
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Why Do You Write?
I enjoy reading interviews of writers and their creative process.
In the past few days, I have been reading interviews of great authors, such as Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, William Faulkner and Gustave Flaubert.
Courtesy of Creative Commons
I noticed a common thread in these authors is narcissism.
There seems to be a correlation between creative genius and mental illness.
Ernest Hemingway shot himself. F. Scott Fitzgerald was depressed. William Faulkner was an alcoholic. Actually, all three were alcoholics. Gustave Flaubert’s personal life was a bit ‘out there’.
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I’ve been lurking behind the scenes and observing writers lately.
Writers seem to be plagued by insecurities, much like great authors were.
Writers want to be known. They want their writing to be read and heard. They want to know their writing matters to others and is making a difference in someone’s life.
Personally, I don’t get many comments or traffic on my blog. Nor do I have a large following, audience or platform.
I have had to come to terms that it may always stay this way.
Occasionally, I’ll get a reader who tells me they enjoy my posts and likes my writing. But, not very many.
Truthfully, the more I write and share what God puts on my heart, the less people seem to like it and thus, I get less traffic.
Which is why I had to ask myself the following questions:
1) Am I writing for God, myself or others?
2) Why do I write in the first place?
3) Will I continue to write even if no one reads it and/or my audience never grows?
My answers:
1) I write for God and myself.
2) I write because I love to write. I love words. I love the artistic expression and creative process. I love reading books and writing.
3) Now this one was a hard one to answer, because as I mentioned above, all writers want to be heard and appreciated. But I’ve come to the conclusion, that I do not want my writing to be about someone else liking or accepting it. I want God’s approval. I want to write what I’m passionate about whether anyone else agrees with it or likes it or not. Other people liking my writing is just the icing on the cake.
I’ve discovered that to continue writing, the ‘why’ has to be bigger than the ‘obstacle’.
If your why isn’t bigger than your obstacle, then you won’t keep at it.
If you are only writing for man’s applause or recognition, you will eventually be disappointed and give up.
Writing for others is the wrong focus and motivation.
Writers have to be comfortable and content for art’s sake.
Even if no one reads your writing, you should still want to write anyway.
Writing should never be about other people, but about God and you.
This is the reason why I write.
Now it’s your turn, why do you write?
Posted in blogging, writing
Also tagged Alcholism, Audience, Depression, Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Following, Gustave Flaubert, Insecurity, Mental Illness, Narcissism, Platform, Suicide, The Guardian, The Paris Review, William Faulkner
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